What Did You Think Was Gonna Happen?
by Tigerdust
Summary: Dean/Castiel. A snippet from season five at the beginning and at the end. Song is from Rent. Castiel and Dean both have trump cards over their circumstances. Each other. Done for ttm.


"It's the apocalypse! What did you think would happen?"

Castiel's voice was calm compared to Dean. "You have every right to be angry, Dean."

Dean blinked, lowering his head to glower at Castiel. Castiel, who by this point, was no more than a mere victim in the whole scheme. "Angry? Do you think angry begins to cover it?"

"No. I wouldn't think so." Castiel shook his head in response.

"The entire thing was engineered! Sammy's demon blood, my stint in hell. Dad...how could this happen?" Dean's voice cracked a little under the stress.

Castiel looked down, the dirt road beneath his feet. "I believe what you're looking for is a different phrase. Perhaps how could you let this happen?"

Dean's face popped with a bit of an oh. "No, no Cas. Don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known."

"We both know you're lying to make me feel better. I was supposed to protect you."

Dean chuckled low in his throat, hollow as it seemed. "It's hard to protect a Winchester."

"You and your brother have been quite difficult. But, under the circumstances..."

Dean put up his hand to halt Castiel. "No. We're not going to start this again. Look, we've got a job to do. We have to figure out where Alistair took Sam. Then we'll go back to Beavers and try and figure a way..."

Castiel shook his head. "Perhaps that's not a good plan. They know about the security shed."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The stood still for a moment, Dean finally turning back to the angel walking behind him. "How much do they know about us?"

Castiel shrugged. "I only knew as much as I was told. That you and Sam were instrumental in bringing about paradise and that I was to assist you at any cost. Even if I had known, I'm not sure I would have stopped it back then."

Dean swallowed hard. "What's changed, Cas?"

A hard blush rose over Castiel's cheeks. "Working with you has given me new perspective. When I pulled you out of hell, I thought this was just....I'm afraid emotions cloud succinct thought on the issue."

Castiel found the warm grip of Dean's hand comforting on his shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up. We're all we have left."

Castiel was silent for a moment. "Dean, when this is all over, I'm sure that I won't be allowed to continue my post. In that event, I hope they find a suitable replacement."

Dean's eyes went wide. "Cas, man, you're scaring me."

Castiel continued, unaware that Dean was screaming on the inside for him to stop. "We have to be realistic about this Dean. I may be left in this host body, but the reality is more frightening. I'm not an angel, but I'm not a rebellious demon either. Perhaps I can still help as a spirit."

_Your eyes_

Dean shook his head, grimacing. There was no end to how bad this was all going to turn out. "No, it's too dangerous. If, and that's a major if, you're gonna go and hide somewhere remote. You're gonna be safe and know our story and tell it if you have to. Damn it, Cas, don't put yourself in danger for me!"

_When we said our goodbyes_

"You're very special Dean Winchester. That is why I knew you could always do what was necessary."

_Can't get them out of my mind_

During the battle later on, those words came back to Castiel. His knuckles were bruised from the force of his punches, human skin far more fragile than first anticipated. Castiel looked over at Dean wielding a shovel in the melee, smirking to himself. Everything had gone fine until the Four Horsemen had made an appearance.

_And in moonlight, I can't hide_

The battle had inevitably ended, as all battles do, without a clear winner. Just the survivors and the scarred bodies of those too weak to carry on. Crying was a new sensation for Castiel. It was hard for him to tell where the sweat ended and the tears began. They all burned, mingling with his confusion, his hurt, anger, and fear. He had never felt so inadequate or small before. Castiel firmly believed that an angel was never meant to feel all this.

_From your eyes_

That walk along the road back to Sam. He had to blame something while all these emotions coursed through his system. It was a blinding, searing ache inside his system. Alistair was still somewhere around, his cold and impassionate frame blinking and calculating the next moves in his game of paradise.

_The ones that took me by surprise_

But there was Dean. Castiel had never thought before about how much Dean really meant to him. After all, he was a human. A human that had been tricked into spilling blood in hell even. But he had acknowledged that Dean Winchester meant more to him than he was even aware. And now he was feeling it in each hair of his host's body. No, not a host body anymore. This was his body now.

_The night you came into my life_

He could feel the angelic power slipping away. It was sand through a sieve, dripping down onto the floor and squeezing out from his very soul. Castiel bit down on his lip as he tried not to holler from the pain in the aftermath of battle. Battle was a polite term for it. The entire thing had meant to be a chaotic massacre where all the used players would just finish each other off. Castiel was included in that number and that rising taste of bile in his mouth reminded him that he had never felt so used.

_Where there's moonlight I see your eyes_

This hadn't been God's plan. This couldn't have been. Sure, God wasn't really talking to any of them, Castiel even had doubts about Alastair hearing from the Lord. But everything after Lillith's death made Castiel feel broken. On the hunt, demons everywhere, on the lam with Dean and desperately trying to rescue Sam. That had been where this trap had been set.

_Why'd you have to go away_

Castiel would always remember the blood all over the floor of the abandoned factory. It's not something you see much of. Stained concrete covered in swaths of red, sticky liquid mingled with dirt and bits of weaponry. The Impala's head lights were still shining, glittering amongst the river of blood. It had been the quickest way to get to Sam once Lillith had returned as the Whore of Babylon.

_When I'm longing so to hold you?_

Three of the Mustangs were still parked outside. They had stopped for a rest and refuel and Castiel could only assume that Pestilence had survived by barricading himself in the upstairs office. That had been a smart move. Castiel was still grateful that he could move his neck as he looked up toward that isolated room, even with a twinge of pain he could still focus.

_But now I'd die for one more day_

Things were getting blurry, so Castiel made a choice. He stumbled, keeping Dean in his line of vision as his dislocated arm hung by his side. There was a limp in his left foot from where a large shard of glass may have slashed a tendon. Thankfully, he had been running on so much adrenaline that taking the glass out hadn't been painful.

_Cause there's something I should have told you_

Heaviness in his body lifted slightly as he looked over Dean. Sam was there, cradling his brother. Half of his face was nearly charred off and one pinky was missing. Sam wasn't crying, but he was stunned and heaving breaths as though he were having an asthma attack. Dean's eyes were closed.

_You can see it in my eyes_

Castiel had a funny memory playing in his mind. Dean always had that look when he was sleeping and he remembered that time he just watched. Waking Dean was hardly a favorite past time, but Castiel loved the way Dean dreamed so heavily, his body sometimes tensing and legs kicking the covers away. Castiel willed himself not to think that Dean was just unconscious.

_Why does distance make us wise?_

But Castiel's body still felt so heavy. The three of them were the only ones left in the factory and the police were probably already on there way. Time was running short and it was the end of this story for the boys, you didn't need supernatural visions to see that. To the angels, Dean and Sam had only been Kleenex to use and dispose of as purposes suited. It was a bit more complicated for Castiel.

_You were the song all along_

Castiel's trump card in the whole affair was the growing feelings he had for Dean. Angels didn't lust, not that humans knew about anyways, but they could admire. And Castiel had admired Dean from almost the moment they had met. He had watched Dean grow for so long and being here seemed unfair and yet he felt entitled, almost as though not being here wasn't even an option.

_And now, before the song dies_

He kneeled in the blood, meeting Sam's gaze. There was nothing in Sam's eyes, nothing behind the stare. He was pain and torment, loss and anger. But there was no will to fight anymore. He had left everything to follow his brother into battle, even begrudgingly.

"Would you like to hold him Castiel?" The voice was harsh, grated.

"What?" Castiel blinked, squinting as though he were seeing Sam for the first time. Was this forgiveness? Sam had always been suspicious of the angel.

"I think he would have wanted you to hold him." Sam nodded to himself and then slowly rose as he set his brother back down. "I'm going to go check the Impala. If it's still running, I'll let you know. We should find somewhere to rest for awhile."

Castiel nodded, watching Dean's body. "Yes. Rest is something we should do."

Sam walked away to give Castiel and Dean privacy. Castiel shuffled over to Dean's body on his knees, unsure if he could rise again. Dean was still warm, Castiel could feel in when he grabbed for the man's hand. The hand didn't return the grip. Then again, Castiel could still feel that hand on his shoulder as they walked into yet another trap.

_I should tell you_

He hoped that Dean was finding peace and wouldn't worry too much about Sam. Dean deserved that after all these years, didn't he? Dean deserved heaven, for all intensive purposes. Castiel drew up Dean's body so that he was cradling the Winchester he loved in his arms.

_I should tell you_

Battle-stained fingers wiped away Castiel's tears from across Dean's eyes, or maybe it was sweat. Dean Winchester is dead. Saying it to himself didn't make anything better for Castiel. He was so small now, so mortal. If this was what Dean felt from day to day then Castiel wondered if he hadn't been even more brave than he had first thought.

_I have always loved you_

Castiel snuggled Dean's hair in the crook of his neck, beneath his chin. This was the position he wished he could have taken on that day in the hospital when Dean had cried after looking on the massive task before him. Castiel had been there for him, to listen, but was at a loss for how to care. He had learned too late.

_You can see it in my eyes_

Sam was concentrating on the Impala still and Castiel was very grateful for that. Castiel's heart slowed, as though he were dying with Dean. Castiel knew he was still alive and considered it unfair. He had had Dean around for all that time, never understanding how much he loved Dean Winchester. Castiel let the realization dawn on him. He loved Dean.

"I love you." He whispered to the form beneath his breast.

With the last of his angelic power slipping away, Castiel placed a kiss on Dean's lips. All at once, the place seemed to light up. At first, Castiel thought it was just the other headlight from the Impala coming to life. But then it was overhead, as though a kiss to Dean Winchester could light an entire building.

He ceased kissing Dean as the last of the power left him and Sam cried out. The engine of the Impala had roared to life while had had been looking at the engine and nowhere near the ignition. Castiel clutched Dean closer to him, glad the body was still warm. He needed to remember this warmth.

Then there was a cough, as though something were being pulled away from the underside of a lake. A gasp, a body squirming in Castiel's arms.

"Dean!" Sam's voice echoed across the factory as he ran and slipped about the floor.

Castiel looked down, hiding his surprise. Dean blinked in Castiel's direction, weariness lifting in a moment of clear understanding. "Did you kiss me?"

"Yes. The last of my angelic power brought you back."

"Thank you, Cas." Castiel's heart began to race as Dean's hand caressed his cheek and his lips reached up to kiss Castiel in return.


End file.
